My Social Networking Heirarchy

Okay, let me break it down.

Someone once described Facebook as the gated community of social networks.  That was especially true back in my day- I’ve been on Facebook since 2003! That’s almost seven years, bitches!  Back then, it was a site catering exclusively to the Ivies and NYU, and boy did we feel special.  Everyone in my little freshman dorm had a facebook, and that was when poking was novel, and not annoying.  I’m sorry, Rutgers student? You want to go on Facebook? Well, I’m sorry, it’s just us and the Ivies chillin’ over here on Facebook.  What’s that, Smith and Wellesley? Still think you’re better than us? Try getting on Facebook!

It was also much more novel then, because only certain e-mail addresses would work.  That means you knew that when Peter Parker and Jesus Christ, both of whom are apparently NYU alums, show up as a potential friend, you know someone sacrificed their only chance at a REAL Facebook page.  That’s dedication.

Obviously, eventually that changed, which was exciting in its own way; gradually your friends all over the country got let into the club.  Eventually high schoolers were let in, and soon everyone was in.  Then even people who don’t exist were in.  My fake on-again-off-again boyfriend has one (add him, by the way, he’s very lonely).  He’s even cheating on me with my friend Lisa’s pink Christmas tree, the trollop. But the exclusivity of facebook is still somewhat intact; for instance, there isn’t much people can see, least of which including those precious, precious pictures.  Facebook is often used to track people down, figure out somewhat personal information about you, where you work, your phone number, what tree you’re in a relationship with.  And this is why, if you send me a friend request on Facebook, I will not confirm you. I have something like nine hundred un-responded-to friend requests on Facebook right now.  And I’m sorry I don’t reject you, either, but I do enjoy it when people come up behind me when I have my laptop and see that mass of friend requests.  I enjoy tricking people into thinking I’m important.

So, really, it’s nothing personal.  I do make exceptions, of course.  Usually that exception is “Have I met this person?”  If the answer is yes, consider us e-friends.  If no, not so much.  The only other exception I make is professional; are you interested in working with me? Do you live in the greater Los Angeles area? Do you go to USC? I found my fabulous bumper artist Erin that way.  She contacted me asking if I wanted to borrow her pet bird (no, really) for a review of Paulie, or if I was interested in her doing bumper art, like Doug and Lewis do.  I replied no on both counts, but I was interested in a designer for my short film last semester.  We worked together on that, and eventually I decided that a bumper artist wouldn’t be a bad thing to have.  She does bumper art for me, and we’re also collaborating on a documentary pitch.  Collaboration- it’s the lubricant of the arts!

I have a MySpace as well, and I’ve met people through that as well who wanted me to do freelance work for them.  So if you want to be my “friend” on a social networking site, go there. I have pictures from my old life and hair colors and everything! I’m also much more likely to respond to messages on MySpace than I am on Facebook.  But if I don’t respond to messages on either, again, it’s nothing personal or me being catty. What probably happened is I read it, intended to respond, and just plain old forgot.  That’s more or less how I racked up those nine hundred-odd friend requests.  As evidenced by the fact that I keep losing my bowtie, I’m a rather absent-minded person.

But the reason I keep pimping my Twitter at the end of my videos is because that’s how I like to communicate with people; the boundaries are very controllable, doesn’t have any of that personal information or unhandy photos that you don’t know if x is going to tag you. Plus, I actually get to read and respond to what people say without having to add the caveat, “Sorry, I don’t add people I don’t know.”  Some people on Facebook get weirdly persistant. But the thing to remember in my case, or anyone’s, is simply this; don’t be weird.  Understand that this point in my life is the busiest I’ve ever been, and I have to keep up with this masters program while putting out a Nostalgia Chick video every two weeks. Right, that’s another thing; I have to do it every two weeks, on a deadline, whether I have a brilliant idea or not.

I like talking to people, but I don’t like being fixated on (this is also why I don’t go to my TGWTG forum anymore). So, I apologize if I don’t get back to some of you. No excuse other than the fact that I’ve got a lot on my plate. Plus, some of you are weird.

  • A very interesting perspective of how you juggle social networking, especially once you’ve gained public status on the internet.

    I had done things differently than you in the past. Before facebook and myspace, my social interaction with my online audience was through livejournal. (I’m not saying I had an audience to be like, “Oh look at me! I’m special!” No, just to compare and contrast.) And I remember being more on the obsessed side of watching my followers go up in the numbers. It was unhealthy mentally and just… Fucking immature and seedy. I was a teenager, so I’ll just use that as my defense. Everyone’s an idiot as a teenager.

    But it also had me learn just how weird, odd, cruel, nasty people can be to a stranger they “think” they know. It was weird. I had to filter my own words on a site that had “journal” included into it, out of anxiety I might unintentionally start a flame war.

    Then rather then feel obsessed with the numbers, I became Mr. Zero Tolerance with those meanie-bageanies. They are entitled to their opinion, but don’t state it within my comments box.

    Eventually, the negativity was too much, I quit Livejournal and never came back.

    I jumped to myspace while in college, and when I hit xx amount of people, who I didn’t really know, I quit my subscription there as well, until right before I graduated college, for social networking. It was fine, but at that point I noticed I was only using the damn thing for re-cancelled self-promotion, and no real interaction. Last year, I myspace. Similar story with facebook. I was on it during college, didn’t care for it, and left. I only rejoined it a few years ago because my cousins wanted to keep in touch with me.

    I saw the transition of everyone migrating from myspace to facebook, and agreed to rejoin. However, any audience I had left began to try and invite me as a friend on facebook. I went through a lot of changes throughout the years and thought that if a person I don’t know wants to add me as a friend on facebook, then they appreciate my work enough to want to add me to their list. I felt, “Who was I to disapprove an invite?” I thought if anyone gave me a hard time, I would just delete them. My zero tolerance from the past sort of remained, but it was simply that I am trying to be a positive person in general, and I don’t really need unnecessary negativity in my life, be it a friend or a stranger.

    That’s sort of where I stand right now when it comes to strangers. Who am I to approve or disapprove of them? I thank them for loving the things I’ve produced.

    But here’s the twist. While in the past I had tens and thousands of readers for my work, that has diminished. And even when I was at my peak, I think I’m still just a fraction of what your videos attract. And when I was at my peak, I attracted quite the weirdos.

    So perhaps it’s the lack of intimacy that internet fame brings… Now that my audience is small, I’m able to interact with them. If I don’t want to read their status updates, I just hide it. if I don’t want to chat with them when I log onto facebook’s chat, I put them in a category that I always leave off. But for the most part, 99% of the people, I am sincerely thankful for.

    There was a small article in wired about online fame. How a person who had a twitter account started with hundreds of readers. There was a sort of community. They could all interact with one another.

    Thousands it was sort of the same, but when it became tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands… The community turned dead silent. The person who gained the fame began to filter what they were saying, in order to avoid pissing off the readers. The readers felt like, “Oh I’m just a number, they don’t want to talk to me.” There was this sad dead zone.

    I asked a friend if there was a way to avoid that if my numbers ever grew again? She said she doesn’t think so, and that was the point of the article…

    But I don’t know. I think interacting with the fans is important, be it through facebook, myspace, twitter. One of them, or all of them. I think it’s important knowing how to thank and appreciate and who to ignore and block, because they’re just…. They’re not good people.

    When it comes to networking as a career, it’s pretty easy after a while. You befriend those who you can rely on and vice-versa… But networking or interacting with fans, that’s a whole ‘nother beast.

    Okay, hope most of this wasn’t *too much* of gibberish.

    Best wishes,
    -J

  • It really sucks that you have to post a blog asking people to not be creepy and to leave you alone on your personal social media pages.

  • You could make a fan page for yourself on facebook so you can direct people to add you on there and you can put up only pictures you’d want people to see! Also, when you post new Nostalgia Chick videos you can put the link on there so everyone can be easily linked to it! 🙂 Although I just checked and saw there’s already a fan page on facebook for The Nostalgia Chick, but it doesn’t look like it’s actually you running it…

    • No sir(or madam), it is most definitely not me running it. I’d like to figure out how to wrestle control of it from that person, but I know not.

      • Aron

        Find out who this Mike is, and if he is as much an admirer as he claims he is, he will relinquish control.

        …And I thought I was being fanboyish with one or two screencaps… DAMN! Have you seen all the different screencaps in the pictures section? It’s the comic book version of your vids!

  • Aron

    Okay, I hope for the love of science that I’m not one of the reasons you quit the TGWTG forum or if you consider me to be wierd. Goddess knows lots of people on the forum find me and/or my humour wierd. Me joking about fixation is something of a thing between me and my mostly female friends. They’d go fangirl on some japanese guy and so I wanted to parody them.
    Because people thought that I was actually serious about my supposed obsession (I lol’d) I started joking about my supposed obsession, parodying that. Some on the forums didn’t get the message.

    If however it is the case that you found me wierd I appologise deeply, I was only joking and I meant nothing. If I creeped you out, I’m sorry, I thought that, judging one or two of the jokes in your vid’s and some of the answers you gave on the forum you’d recognise it as humour.
    In either case, know that I don’t fixate on you, never did, even though I did joke that I did.

    In other news, the fact that this point in your life is the busiest for you kinda shows here and there, and we notised. In my opinion, the fact that you’re (contractually?) obligated to make a vid every two weeks is absurd. Creativity can’t be forced, only stimulated. Sometimes one is without inspiration for months (it happens). In my opinion, forcing people to produce creative things makes the product of lesser quality. Evidently this is one of the things talked about on the forums, I for one notised that since you produced more video’s I started liking the new ones less. Some argue that you shouldn’t be forced to make a video every two weeks, I among them.

    In my opinion you should arrange that you’re no longer forced to create a vid every two weeks, but you did that before, and I’m guessing The Man at TGWTG didn’t like that. But we see that you’re tired, that is a bad thing. People can over-exert themselves for only so long (co-incidently I’m having a friend over for a couple of weeks who worked two fulltime jobs for at least five months, and now she had a burnout).
    I hope that we will never read a twitter feed along the lines of “I can’t take it anymore you guys, I’m sorry, I’m going back to bed”.

  • Lionel Bee

    Twitter is godly for broadcasting yourself. Simple, effective, and the service doesn’t ask you to exchange a lot of information. I love me some twitter; how else would I know that Conan O’Brien is interviewing squirrels?

  • Bernardo Valenzuela

    i didn’t know about this blog until you tweet it, it’s great to read your thoughts of stuff other than childrens movies.

    keep up the good work.

  • Makes sense, of course. Too bad people don’t get the hint. But I will say, I’m glad you keep putting out videos in spite of your tight schedule. Keep it up, Lindsay! You’re awesome!

  • Adriaan

    The big problem of this society: people think that if they know you, you want to know them, which is totally untrue. You have a life in which you , by coïncidence, post movies/clips whatever on the internet, and some believe that, because of that you have to turn your whole social life just so they can follow you everywhere, especially on the internet.
    Nice article btw.

  • Nina

    I miss when Facebook was open only to people with university e-mail accounts; having strangers sending me messages, or my nosy aunt making up stories about me based on some random status update is a real pain.

    Interesting article, Lindsay. My only qualm with Twitter, though, is that its 140-word limit sometimes forces words to be excised and grammar to be sacrificed such that innocent messages may be perceived as weird and/or creepy. For example, I posted a reply to your posting of this article to your twitter account, but upon re-reading I realized that even though I had been aiming for sympathetic, it could have been read as exactly the opposite, or at least as hypocritical. I shake my tiny, ineffectual fist at the word limit.

    It’s unfortunate that your internet celebrity has forced you to avoid the forums on TGWTG, and the like. Forums can be such great networking tools through which the obstacle of distance has no effect and interesting people from around the world can communicate… But in terms of obsessive fans who are inappropriate, well then I most definitely agree that it’s best to avoid feeding their infatuation lest they objectify you anymore or pull some sort of Kathy Bates-in-Misery-esque shit.

    With reference to the Nostalgia Chick Appreciation Group on Facebook. I just searched it based on a mention in an earlier comment and was weirded out by the sheer number of screencaps posted. Does this sort of thing ever just give you the wiggins (though I’m sure there’s worse out there)?

    Best of luck with your grad studies, Nchicking, and whatever else you might be juggling right now. 🙂

    • Nina

      *And by word limit, I meant character limit, of course. 😛

  • Jim

    I suppose most of us visit this blog because we think your video’s are (often) great AND to some degree we have the hots for you.

    Nothing wrong with that. Think about your male idols, don’t you admire several of them for more than their artistic talents alone? Now how do YOU handle being in lust with them? (or more correct: with their public version) Being an attractive female, you’d have to try hard (ie stalk them) if you’d want to come across as a creep. Men have to be much more careful.

    If it wasn’t so sad it would be funny how people here are trying to be witty and interesting so they can attract some of your much desired attention, without actually saying “Lindsay you’re talented and so damn smoking hot, I wish that in a parallel universe I was single, on the same continent and you were in love with me”. I bet many of them are dying to say just that and I just did. 🙂

    P.S. Not stalking you, but always happy to see new nchick videos. I think you’ll go far!

  • Wow – I just found this blog after your Showgirls Part 2 video. I now feel really bad for sending you a friend invite – I honestly wasn’t trying to be creepy or stalkerish. Now I understand.

    I didn’t know Facebook used to be just for college – heck, I didn’t even know social networking sites even existed until all the schools in my region started shouting hooplah about MySpace and Xanga. And here I thought I knew a thing or two about the Internet!

    Great blog entry. Again, I apologize for the inadvertent annoyance, and I look forward to your videos as much as ever. =)

  • Coffee Rocket

    All I can say is, I can’t understand how annoying these freak-obsessives must be, but I’m sorry you have to deal with them. Otherwise, best of luck on all this stuff you’re juggling!

  • Ivan Radchenko (aka Lardo)

    “And I’m sorry I don’t reject you, either, but I do enjoy it when people come up behind me when I have my laptop and see that mass of friend requests. I enjoy tricking people into thinking I’m important.”

    That’s a good enough reason for me to go add you as a friend now. Let the list grow, yay!

    “As evidenced by the fact that I keep losing my bowtie, I’m a rather absent-minded person.”

    Yeah, your latest video showed us exactly how absinthe-minded you are! LOL.

    “Right, that’s another thing; I have to do it every two weeks, on a deadline, whether I have a brilliant idea or not.”

    And that’s probably a good thing. I’d rather be disappointed in a video, knowing there’s another one coming up soon. For example, AVGN recently started posting new videos once a month, so that he could put more effort into them. Can’t say I like them better now.
    Anyway, whenever you do get a brilliant idea, you will put it for good use sooner or later.
    And one more thing: I believe if you’re constantly working on videos, a great idea is much more likely to pop up. If you start making less videos, eventually you’ll become more engaged in something else and I probably wouldn’t want that, oh no. 🙂 If you are tired though, you probably should just take a break for a month or two, nothing wrong with that.

  • Ellelarondelle

    only some of us are weird?

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