Big damn public statement

It’s been a pretty wacky week indeed.

I suppose I should say first off that the “rape rap” skit was actually what inspired TFTF in the first place, not the date with Doug.  That said, it was the first shot and I had planned to be the last release, but since they wanted us to be more on a concrete schedule, I decided to go ahead and finish that one.  Now here’s the thing, it had gone through reshoots after the first initial bout, and, as I am wont to do, I rushed through the edit only to find myself a bit uneasy with that first cut.  Now, I find I’ve had pretty good intuition about what people will and won’t like, and with that one I wasn’t quite comfortable with releasing it, even though I uploaded it to the FTP (TGWTG usually works through and FTP; I don’t upload my own videos as when I do that they look pretty crappy because I don’t have a flash converter).  So, I told the admin not to release that one, period.  He agreed, and the Spooning with Spoony bloopers went up that week, instead.  Everyone rejoiced.

Now, more recently, indeed there has been a sharp dropoff with my contributions to the site. This is for a myriad of reasons, biggest of which being that I haven’t stayed in the same place at all and am currently bouncing around the country like a tumbleweed in a Toyota Camry.  But there are other reasons as well, part of it being related to money and the time it takes to make a video, part due to interpersonal crap, and a part having to do with some of the creative outlets by the boys over at 4chan (much appreciated, guys) and my general befuddlement over the whole thing.  But the guys at TGWTG knew that it would be a while before I put something up again, take it or leave it, so imagine my surprise when while getting out of the subway I find a voicemail from Bargo telling me that the rape rap video has gone up.  Gasp and shock! I call him immediately and tell him to TAKE THAT SHIT DOWN, as  at the current edit, I did not intend for that thing to be seen by human eyes.  This wasn’t Bargo’s call, and it wasn’t anything done out of malice, this I know, but I didn’t know the thing had been up until almost eighteen hours after it had gone up.  So yeah, needless to say, I was a bit cheesed, but the general consensus at the Chicago end was that if we took it down now, it would cause something of a fiasco.  Whatever, says I.  I wash my hands of this, this was not my decision, all I know is that I have every intention of staying away from whatever fallout it has caused.  The mood and sense I get from my friends and collaborators, ranging from righteously indignant to straight out embarassed, only enforces that inclination.

I want to say that the posting of the video itself stems from miscommunication and misunderstanding; I wish I had been asked before anything I make gets posted without my knowing it, but I also should have been clearer about that edit and my desire for it not to go up on the site.  Or I could have been less of an idiot and, you know, deleted the damn thing from the FTP so that wouldn’t have happened.  But it just slipped my mind.  Live and learn.

Bargo called me about a day later telling me they’d gone ahead and deleted it, and by that point I was totally indifferent as to whether or not they did.  Whatever this supposed fallout was, I don’t really care.  As for the content itself, however, I feel no inclination to apologize for it as I had no autonomy in it being made public, but joking about rape is not something either I or any of my compadres feel bad about.  I knew the reception might not be that great, which is why I wanted to sit on it for a while and give it another edit, but by no means do I feel bad about it or the content.  If we can’t joke about sexual abuse, genocide, kiddie porn and all measure of unpleasant run of the mill bullshit we have to deal with on a daily basis, I think I’m about ready to jump ship on the Western Hemisphere.  Get off your cross.  We’ve all got it bad.   I could go into all measure of cultural implications here, the reception of this v. the reception of Spooning with Spoony, but again, it doesn’t really matter.  That one just wasn’t ready, nor was this site’s demographic ready for it.

I had planned on waiting a few weeks before posting again regardless, and I’m still planning on sticking to that. Unless something else goes awry, I do still plan on contributing, but it will be a little while.

Until then, don’t stop believing, streetlight people.

  • The Noobz Guide

    Hey I thought it was hilarious. The Awkward setting really pushed through and I hate to see it go. Y maybe a little rushed, but who cares. As a film maker you do what is to be done, even if it sucks or scares the piss out of you. So here at Blame Your Fate Studios, we salute you!!!

    John Chambers
    The Noobz Guide

  • Anonymous

    Dear Miss Eliis,

    It appears you have seen the handiwork of our Soemele. Understandably, you seem unsettled as indicated by your Twitter feed. However, as one of the Anonymii lurking around the web’s dark corners, I feel compelled to share our view. If one of your concerns is with our collective stalking you, fear not. We, like you, are regular folk before any other identity. Our lives extend beyond the bounds of /b/, and many of us must face our own dilemmas before concerning ourselves with others, including yourself. Indeed, many of us have experienced hard luck, as unemployment has effected myself and various associates. Some of us are quite lucky to have the support of others during these difficult times, including our loved ones and beloved families (as ironic as it may sound, we do experience genuine love). So if you’re wondering if I myself taken an interest in hurting you, I have far too much life ahead of me to harass someone; besides, looking at a self-centered point-of-view, it would ultimately be against my best interests.

    Allow me to shed dark perspective. Whenever an individual shares a part of him/herself on the internet, he/she exposes himself to the crowd, where everyone is invited to comment. There will be those unimpressed, there will be those wracked in disgust, and as you and I are both aware, there will be those lovestruck. The more you reveal about yourself, the deeper the crowd’s interest becomes; I believe the social scientists refer to this phenomenon as Parasocial Interaction, where an individual knows everything about a particular person, yet the known person would be lucky to be aware that obsessed individual exists. If I may ask a few gross questions, can you sleep at night knowing there are those experiencing every fantasy, twisted to perverse in nature, about you? Does it nauseate you knowing that English speaking men from America to Australia masturbate with you in their thoughts? Does your heart palpitate knowing you’ve inspired torture fantasies from others? If you’re able to deal with it all, you’ve accomplished the first step in living with unadulterated humanity.

    It would be no stretch of the imagination to wonder why you were depicted in such a gruesome and macabre fashion. Dark humor is a delicacy my fellow Anonymii tend to enjoy deeply, and a depiction of you in a compromised situation suited our needs. While the art may appear to project raw hatred (and some will feel it articulates that emotion), it also expresses a twisted emotional attachment to the very subject. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to imagine that some of us find your appearance so gorgeous that even you look voluptuous in the traditionally least erotic of situations. Some of us love your appearance so much through thick and thin, through fair and stormy weather, in one piece and in pieces.

    If it reassures you, take this old Zen proverb, “This, too, will pass.” Although some have taken it upon themselves to lust over you, it won’t be forever.



    PS: As an art critic, I’m compelled to ask you. Do you find any redeeming qualities about Mr. Soemele’s work of you?

  • Aron

    Dear Lindsay,

    Thank you for this blog, it kinda clarifies things and makes the discussion on the TGWTG website easier.

    On a personal note, I’m very glad it was one of your earlier sketches – and that you weren’t all too happy with the way it was right now. As you may or may not have read, I did detect that it wasn’t the great quality as some of your other video’s, which are very well done and one or two being epic masterpieces (but what is my opinion worth).

    I actually would like to have seen you make a re-edit and/or remake of this sketch, the idea has great potential and could have been on the level of for example your Christmas special video.
    But I do agree with you what you said in the TA episode that the world might not be ready for it, and judging the reactions, turned out to be correct.

    I’d also like to offer you a few words of comfort with some of the bad things that happened in your life. If I was there in your real life, I’d listen and talk to you, for nights and nights if need be. But as a fan, far away and only able to send a few digital words to you… We’ll anyway. Know that real people, more real people than you already know, would want to be there for you.

    And with regards to you being rule34’d, I understand wholeheartly why that bothers you. It’s like someone took private photo’s and published them on the internet, it’s the same kind of… exposure. I don’t know what to say to make you feel better – and that pains me. All I can say is, try to ignore it, and comfort yourself with at least the fact that it’s manufactured, and that your privacy hasn’t been (in real life) voilated. It’s not real and you would feel worse if they were real pictures.

    It saddens me to see that it will take a couple of weeks before we see more video’s of you, but I’m willing to wait.

    …And I can’t stress enough that I feel bad for everything that is currently wrong in your life and that I want to do everything (within reason) to help that – and I can’t. So I will stop bitching about that.

    Thine in unyielding faith,

    Aron Scheffer from the Netherlands

  • Deadite

    I too thought it was, in fact, hilarious. And good for you apologizing while not actually apologizing, this has been a good read. 🙂 now someone needs to remix the rape rap…

  • I have no comment on this because I didn’t see the video. Just wanted to say you can’t stop the signal…

    That is if you’re a browncoat as your title here seems to indicate.

  • Yeah, the video definitely wasn’t up to your usual standard but I’m not against rape jokes or anything. Everything has the right to be joked about. It’s too bad the next video’s going to be pushed back a bit, but I’m looking forward to it.

  • It’s unfortunate that it happened to go up against your wishes, but overall, I would have to agree with you; it’s one thing to respect and sympathize with the fact a person has been harmed, but perpetually treating them as if the harm makes them a victim to be coddled only makes the suffering languish. I may not have personally enjoyed the video, but the value of humor in easing pain should never be negated.

  • DaBuddha_HMz

    I didn’t get to see the video because I don’t get to go on the TGWTG web site as much as I’d like (or used) to, but it sounds realtively harmless to me. I know me and my friends joke about rape, incest, kiddie porn (hell, one of my plans is to start a band called Hamez and the Kitty Pornographers), so I most likely would have laughed at it pretty hard. Sorry I missed it, even if it was unfinished. I loved Spooning with Spoony, by the way. Awesome stuff. Can’t wait for more of your stuff to come around!

    Didi mau,

  • I didn’t find anything to hate in that Video …. it was all funny. Pretty Much everything I see on TGWTG has me crying from laughing…. Your Videos especially are ones that I almost die from.

    When a new vid gets released, I put it on the big screen in the writing room and we all watch it…laugh our asses off, and try to be half as good!

  • We either make fun of everything, or make fun of nothing.

    I saw the video before it got deleted and found it really funny, and if you are going to revise it before reuploading it, I’ll probably laugh all over again.

    Keep up the good work, I like people who push limits.

  • Mitch

    I didn’t see it, as it was deleted mere moments after I saw it was posted, but I thought I’d say good on you all the same for trying something like this, even if it was the wrong edit that emerged. I have seen the responses on the TGWTG forum, and it reminds me of how god damn pedantic and liberal minded the majority of us are . People are throwing up stats and essays like you’re trying to argue the cultural benefits of rape, and I’m surprised to see it from such a website. Next they’ll be chasing you through old mills clutching fiery brands in hand.

    Anyway, my point is have fun on your roadtrip and hopefully people get over this shit soon (what is the shelf life of scandal, does anybody know?) and we see more of your videos up when you get the time to work on them.

  • Thiago Sampaio

    Hi there, Lindsay. I’m don’t usually comment lot at TGWTG (english isn’t my first language… but I’m not from Chile, I’m from Brasil) althougt I had seeing everyone of your videos.

    It doesn’t mean much, but you’re good. You’re really good, getting in a step next to a ‘pro’, and in the site, you next do Doug’s videos. Sometimes, they’re even funnier. Xanadu? Priceless.

    But the TFTF2 wasn’t really a great thing. It was just out of tone, and I’m glad that you’re aware of it. But I don’t think if deleting it was the best choice. And you have to talk about it in future videos, with lots of irony (I have a better thought about it, but I’m limited for my grammar)

    The Spooning with Spoony and White Rapping were not that similar. Yeah, the Spoony video was kind shocking, but had it’s humor, didn’t cross the line to much. Mean while (or whyle?) the White Rapping was just offensive, to strong, to… “not funny”.

    Yeah, rabe, abortion and pedophily aren’t great materials for comedy, but sometimes, with the right tone, the right abordage (is that also an english word?) you can talk about then. Unfortanly, that didn’t happen with the rap.

    There was no social critic. There was nothing we had to learn. It was just… Creepy! The reactions of yours? Priceless! Even better you did in the Spoony’s video, but couldn’t support the segment with a “convict rapist rapping about rape”.

    BUT you shouldn’t delete it. Yeah, you’de explained everything, but a lot of people saw it, the video is in youtube and will not be forget. So, even with your lack of time (don’t wory, the videos you do ar so great, that they compense – compense?- that) you do have to talk about this video.

    And, maybe, push it even further! Talk about hard topics, but in this time, with some more social critic. Well, it’s just an idea.

    Anyways, don’t whory about it to much. You’re a great talent, bigger than this little… I would call it mistake, but no, it was just a… Damn it! How cal I say “tropeço” in english? Heck, it wasn’t that bed XD

    Well, keep good. Keep doing videos. Even if you can do only one each 2, 3 months. We don’t care: you’re good enough =)


    (I almost and it with ‘bjs’, wich means ‘beijos’, ‘kisses’ in portuguese. can you believe what we people in south america put you in? ow, chile boy… why mentioning rape? XD)

  • Inamidato

    Well, thank you for the statement, I think it was appropriate to clarify what happened.

    I didn’t like the video; I found it unfunny, unlike the other ones. But now we know the reason: it was basically unfinished.

    Anyway, I will wait for your new great videos! Take your time and don’t put them in the site before you think they are good enough.

  • Cferra

    I admit I was rather shocked when I saw the vid. I didn’t know what to think to be honest. Maybe Joe said it for me. I dunno. I know I commented saying it was odd. I didn’t know what else to think at the time and it took a while to digest it because it was shocking.

    I’m glad it was taken down with such expediency. It was an odd vid. I know you’ll make up for it down the road. Just remember everyone makes mistakes.

    Your reaction of course was justified. I’m glad we found out what exactly happened and that the Chicago crew took things down. Your statement is very well thought out and I look forward to more vids. Just keep at it.

  • Sean from Scotland

    Hey, I don’t usually add replys and/or comment on this sort of thing, but I’d just like to go on record as firmly supporting you in this.

    As an artist, which I believe any filmmaker like yourself is, you have a right to push the boundries, explore the nuances of society… and generally do and say things during your videos that may offend others. Quite right too.

    Nobody believes that Doug or Noah would condone sexual or physical violence against others, even if features in their work, and to be honest, I don’t think the majority of the many thousands of viewers of TGWTG think anything of it all, so I’d be in favour of putting the video back up for all to see. Be proud of your work.

    I watched it, thought it was funny, although I agree it wasn’t anywhere as polished as most of your work. I did however enjoy (read: laughed out loud) the scene where you were looking around outside, embarrassed at people hearing the rap tho, which is probably a little appropriate right now.

    People complain. They complained when they saw a gay kiss on tv, they complained when they heard rappers dropping N-Bombs in their songs, and now they complain when someone tests (not condone, mind) our attitude towards rape (And even then it was steeped in irony).

    Keep up the good work Lindsay. I’ve visited TGWTG every day since I stumbled upon it. That would be about 6 months now, and I’m certainly going to keep doing it if it keeps talent like you on board. I’m looking forward to your next video.

  • Matt

    This simply may be my untrained/inexperienced eyes, but when i saw the video I didn’t think it was unfinished, Looked fine to me and I thought it was funny, watching it I understood the tone of the video and didn’t think once it was offensive, or a big deal in any way, just a funny silly video.
    I understand why It was removed and how it might of been controversial, but your statement seems to convey that you feel that it was just as bad as Transformers 2, and feel a need to explain what happened. I don’t think it was a big deal at all. I hope to see a finished cut one day.

  • Immortal

    Personally I thought the video was funny, not because of rap content, but because of your facial expressions. I got a kick out of your reactions to the rap.

    And I can’t stop laughing at the comment that anonymous guy posted near the top. I always get a kick out of how they think they’re a huge “force to be reckoned with” like the Sith or something. Its a bunch of hackers living in their mom’s basements. Live with it. 😛

    But yeah, sucks that you won’t be posting for a while. Really hope to see a new vid from you soon as your vids are what got me into TGWTG.

  • Luvian

    Aww. I hope it was taken down because of it’s unpolished status and not because the reactions to it. It’s like you said; there’s something wrong if we can’t joke about unpleasant topics.

    I haven’t seen it but I support it out of principle and I hope you will put up an updated version one day. If only to show you will not let yourself be censored by critiques.

    Keep up expressing yourself. Respect always come to those who are not afraid to stand for their opinions.

  • goodbadgroovy

    And Lindsay survives her brush with the internets fickle opinions.

    The people going “zomg this is terrible some people have really been raped what would they think?!” were the same people saying “lolz so funni!” about your spoony video. Which, dun dun dun, was making a joke out of date rape. But that was a-ok. Yay hypocricy.

    The only issue should have been whether it was funny or not.

    I thought angryjoe commenting on the video negatively (apart from his opinion being wrong) was a bit dodgy, isn’t there some kind of TGWTG website comradery? If he had that much of an issue shouldn’t he have kept that to a personal message rather than public post as it’s kind of like opening a newspaper* and finding the headline story “the journalist that writes on page 4 is shit lol”. Whether he thought it was “constructive” or not, I can’t imagine you’d comment on any of his videos “wow joe, this really wasn’t funny, hope you improve!”. It’s just not cricket.

    *erm, though you wouldn’t need to open the newspaper to read the headline…

  • quite honestly, I thought it was funny. not the best production (can I buy you guys a microphone?) but it pushed the boundaries and I always like that. not to mention, your reaction throughout the entire piece was appropriately shocked and I think that delivered the comedy. the video clearly wasn’t saying that “rape is good” and you provided the relevant context. but seriously, can I buy you guys a microphone? the room noise is louder than your actors!

  • Tanuvein

    I thought it was hilarious, if in need of some editing.

    I was sad to see it go as I was going to show it to my friend, and found it wasn’t there.

  • DudeMeister

    I don’t think anyone really found the sketch offensive. Most just found it boring or dull, which can be easily explained by it being a rough cut of an early video.

  • Jax

    At some point, somebody will have to explain to me the redeeming qualities of being famous, even very lightly internet famous. I thought, and still think, that Lindsay was a great addition to the site. Very funny writer, not hard on the eyes, and great comic timing… probably even better than Doug when it came to editing the pieces. But holy shit, did I think that 4chan bit crossed a line in a big way, and if she never did another video for TGWTG, I would totally understand.

    And yes, that’s the fucking point of 4chan, I do get it, and I’m not trying to white knight, either. Lindsay seems like she’s got a thick skin, and if she doesn’t, she’ll damn well need one for the film industry. I hope she does come back and make a lot more videos, and it sounds like she plans to. But man, 4chan, you really, really pissed me off on this one.

    And the reason is exemplified by the comment of Azeryoth of the fucking Darkwatyr up there! Anonymous, you goth motherfucker, first of all, next time you feel the urge to string the words “shed dark perspective” together in a sentence, just go ahead and punch yourself in the face. You don’t sound dark and mysterious, you sound like the lost Bronte sister.

    Second: stop patting yourself on the back. You’re not exposing anyone to the dark nature of humanity. The internet has been around for quite a while now. And even if it wasn’t around, you see a few more example’s of man’s inhumanity toward man when you’re out on your own trying to pay the bills than you’ll encounter crashing in your mom’s basement. Seriously, come on out and try it some time. It SUCKS.

    Third: JESUS CHRIST STOP TAKING YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY. You’re masturbating. You’re masturbating to a drawing of a girl on the internet. Congratulations. Happens quite a bit. Doesn’t make you dark, or brooding, or interesting, I don’t care how fucked up the subject matter is. It makes you a masturbator. Monkeys don’t make as much of a big deal out of it as you are, and they screech at the top of their lungs and throw poop while they’re doing it.

    Fourth, and this is what really gets me: you seem to want to justify your actions, and say that this is how the world is, so we’re really doing you a favor and blah blah blah. It’s bullshit posturing. This isn’t how the world is, this is how you’re actively making it. You’re not rebels, you’re not even really evil. You’re just bullies. You’re scared kids who got bitter, and because you don’t have any power in your real life, you use anonymity as your power. There’s a bunch of you and only one of whoever you’re going after, and you’re anonymous and they’re not.

    You didn’t go after Lindsay because she’s pretty or because she’s a girl on the internet or even because she’s “internet famous.” You went after someone like Lindsay because she’s NOT a celebrity. Because there was an excellent chance that she would actually see it and you could get a legitimate rise out of her. It’s fucking stupid, not to mention pointless, considering that the point of bullying is to make someone feel more worthless than you do. And pal, remember this the next time you’ve finished your great act of social revolt and you’re wiping off your darkspyrm on to your fucking pretentious Clan of Xymox t-shirt: there will never be anyone more worthless than you.

    Ugh. Fucking internet.

  • Facepalm of Doom

    You know what’s best? Stop feeding the trolls, you damn hipster hepcats!

    Yes, I know it sucks to be the subject of a guro drawing. Yes, I know it’s disruptive and disturbing. The point isn’t lost on me.

    HOWEVER, your outrage isn’t stopping it; in fact, your entire post just gave them ammunition. I think the trolls will stop taking themselves seriously once you STOP GETTING PISSED OFF! Trolls loves nerd rage, and you’ve provided them a battleship’s worth.

  • GoddamnitJax

    There’s nothing sillier than ad hominem laden emotional drivel. You claim you’re not white knighting, but one paragraph later, you entire post rants. You claim to be unimpressed by dismissing that Anonymous poster as worthless, but your diatribe clearly evidences he/she/it left an impression on you. Did you really think the Anons were going to back off?

    My advice is straight from Murphy’s Law, “Don’t argue with a fool; people may not know who the fool is.”

  • A Nice Cup of STFU

    I wish I had my internet argument picture. You’re both acting like children.

  • Nephilim

    I’m a big believer in the idea that you should be able to joke about anything, so I found your video very funny.

    I hope that whenever you feel you’ve perfected it, it will resurface as the world needs more black humor.
    In the mean time never let the world tell you what you can or cant joke about.
    You have a fantastic sense of humor. Two thumbs up!

  • :)

    I realize that I’m commenting on this way late, but on the off-chance you might see it here I go. I think your work on TGWTG is fantastic- you’re actually the main reason I made an account there. Definitely miss seeing you more, but totally understandable. Someone sent me the link to this a while ago and I decided to read through some old entries (yes, my life IS that exciting, haha), and your writing is a joy to read as well. It makes me happy to see that intelligence isn’t dead.
    That being said I didn’t even know about this whole 4Chan incident until now. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately some people just have to try and ruin anything fun or harm others to feel good about themselves. It’s sad, really. Just ignore them and keep doing your own thing. Knowing it bothers you will only spur them on.
    Most people suck, and the internet is really good at helping us see that, but the nice thing is not ALL people suck. You’ve got some genuine fans who aren’t creepers, and a lot of people appreciate and respect you.

  • Excellent post, l quite agree with your conclusion. However lam having problem subscribing to your rss.

  • DonZabu

    Three questions:

    -If you can get offended by the portrayal of women in Dune (?), then other people can get offended by your rape jokes, how ’bout that? And I wasn’t even offended by the video.

    -Why did you upload it to the FTP to be uploaded to the site in the first place if you weren’t prepared to release it?

    -Did you ever consider the possibility that the people who liked Spooning With Spoony aren’t the same people who were offended by your rape rap video? The Internet has lots of people on it.

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