I’m seriously going to try to start updating this thing regularly now. Seriously.
Since joining TGWTG, I’ve flirted several times with doing something with Twilight, even going so far as to film one after I saw the movie. Two of them I flaked out on because either I had too much to do, or I was too shy to confront Twilight fans in their own environment (believe it or not, I’m actually quite shy.) But I still have yet to create any venemous, Twilight-related opus. I can’t help but feel like I missed some opportunity after that first attrocity of a film, directed by a woman, starring a woman, and adapted from a novel written by a woman, for a primarily female audience, made so goddamn much money.
But I find myself equally fascinated, if not more so, by Meyer’s first “adult” novel (as in, marketed towards adults), The Host. Why does this one not get any credit for being equally awful?
So while Twilight is a painful, unoriginal book about vampires in which the main characters spend roughly five hundred pages brooding about each other (when the female is falling down/being rescued, of course), The Host is about alien invaders that takeover human bodies, and one in particular that kind of starts to empathize with the humans and their wacky human emotions. Basically it’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers from the point of view of one of the body snatchers. Sounds kind of cool, right? I won’t say I was disappointed, coming in with a severe bias by looking for the things that so offend me about Twilight. Female main character with a martyr complex? Check. Violent and possesive male love interests? Check. Weird villification of all other female characters besides the main (and the voice in her head)? Double check. And what is this ultimately, that thing that SciFi had better have a damn good reason to ever be? A romance novel. Gee.
This one’s especially curious to me, as, though it is in no way stylistically different from Twilight, right down to the God-awful first person female narration replete with fawning over hot boys with dull names, it is billed as “adult” fiction. But even if she does have all this clout now, does she really have no editor? Does no one tell her these things what they teach you in Writing 101, things like, “Adverbs and adjectives aren’t your friends. Really! They’re not!” and “Sentence variety can be fun!” and “SHOW DON’T TELL” and “I’m serious about those adjectives/adverbs. Really, you think you need them, you probably don’t.” Meyer has all of the amateurish mistakes of a middling fanfiction writer; how to her editors let this slide?
So, a while ago, to make myself feel better, I took a red pen to the first few pages of The Host. Maybe it will make any other aspiring writers out there feel better, too.
I feel better now. Just a little.